Surviving a Suicide Loss  |  Resource and Healing Guide
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Here are some suggestions for helping children cope:
•	 Tell the truth in simple, age-appropriate language; explain that 
their loved one died of an illness — a brain illness (as an example 
for an elementary-age child —“I have something I need to tell 
you that is really hard. Mommy died this morning when you were 
away at school. Mommy’s brain was not working.”)
•	 Listen to their questions, and try to offer honest, straightforward, 
developmentally appropriate, and age-appropriate responses
•	 When you have a choice, tell them as soon as you have the 
news, in a place where both you and they will feel comfortable; 
often, not telling the truth can lead a child/ teen to create a 
story that may be worse than what actually happened
•	 Reassure them that the death was not their fault
•	 Resist the urge to keep the suicide a secret out of fear that 
the child will copy the behavior of the deceased — that is 
not what research shows will happen; just as families with 
hypertension, diabetes, or heart disease are educated about 
early warning signs and prevention, relatives of suicide loss 
need to understand the early warning signs of suicide, or 
depression and other mental illnesses, so they can engage 
in support and treatment
•	 Reassure them that you, together with other trusted adults, will 
take care of them
•	 Let them know they can approach you at any time if they want 
to talk about it; communication with your child/teen is very 
important; understand that you are all grieving, and use this 
as an opportunity to ask questions and share together
•	 Resume and maintain the child’s regular routine as much as 
possible; encourage them to stay engaged with activities that 
make them feel successful; these routines and activities are 
usually the first things to disappear after a loss

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