Surviving a Suicide Loss  |  Resource and Healing Guide
12
Handling the Holidays
Anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays may be 
especially difficult, so you might want to think 
about whether to continue old traditions or 
create new ones. 
Do what you think will be comfortable for you. Remember, you can 
always choose to do things differently next time. Keep in mind that 
sometimes the anticipation of an event can be more difficult than 
the event itself. 
Below are some considerations and guidance for the holidays:
•	 Think about your family’s holiday traditions and consider 
whether you want to continue them or create something new
•	 Remember that family members may feel differently about 
continuing to do things the way they have in the past; try to 
talk openly with each other about your expectations
•	 If you find it comforting to talk about your loved one, let your 
family and friends know that; tell them not to be afraid to 
mention your loved one’s name
•	 Some loss survivors find it comforting to acknowledge the 
birthday of their loved one by gathering with the loved one’s 
friends and family; others prefer to spend it privately
•	 Some loss survivors have found the following ritual helpful for 
a variety of occasions
	
— Light two candles and then blow one out; explain that the 
extinguished candle represents those we’ve lost, while the 
one that continues to burn represents those of us who go 
on despite our loss and pain
	
— Simply leave the one candle burning (you can put it off to one 

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