18 Children, Teens and Suicide Loss do you destroy it? Do you let your children see or hear it? Whatever your inclination, try not to make a hasty decision. Many families choose to share the note with the child when they are older, depending on the content of the communication. Whatever your decision, it is good to be truthful about whether a note was left or not. If you choose to have the older child read the note, it is helpful to do it with them and make sure that they can put the message into the appropriate context (e.g., that it was likely written during a time when the person was confused, in a lot of pain, etc.).