8 Children, Teens and Suicide Loss Guiding Young People Through the Practical Realities After a Suicide Death Should children or teens attend the funeral or memorial service? Offer your child or teen the choice to attend the funeral or memorial service, regardless of their age. Having the choice to be involved lets a young person know they are a valued and important part of the family. Ask for their ideas on what to include in the service (e.g., flowers, music, photos, special rituals). If possible, allow them to put something in the casket or urn, such as drawings, letters, favorite toys, or sentimental objects. Teens may want to do something special, such as put a video together or choose the music to be played. If your child decides to attend, talk with them about what to expect. Where will the service be held? Will the body of the person who died be there? Who else will be there? How long will the service last? It’s also helpful to give them an idea of what other people might do or say. Consider role-playing in advance so they can practice how to respond to things people commonly say, such as “I’m so sorry for your loss,” “They’re in a better place now,” or “You have to be strong.” With younger children it’s a good idea to identify a trusted friend or family member as their “buddy,” someone who can take them to the restroom or outside for a break if they need it.